WRITING WEDNESDAY IV

Writing stories is kind of like quilting. We piece together our story much like we piece together a quilt.
The blending together of different patches of cloth creates the quilt and the blending together of the characters, the setting and the story creates the manuscript.

We need to hook our reader. We need to open with a great sentence or paragraph to grab their attention.

The middle needs to keep the reader interested. It needs to be able to keep the reader turning the pages to see what happens next. Each chapter ending should make them want to go on to read the next chapter.
If we accomplish this, we are on your way to writing a great book.

However,  don't disappoint your readers with the ending. Try to make it as satisfying as the rest of the story.

All this is easier said than done, though. As writers, we need to keep trying until we get it right.
That is what molds an amateur into a professional.
They don't quit!

Now help me get it right. Which opening do you like best? Which one has the best hook?
These are two alternate openings to one of my manuscripts.

#1 OPENING

“Lucy!”

            “Yes, Ma.”

            “Get away from the window, you’ll look too anxious!”

            “I am anxious, Ma,” I confessed as I continued to stare out the window. “I’m getting married today.”

“Go fetch me some water and it’ll get your mind off the waitin’.”

“Yes, Ma,” I said as I hurried outside.          

It was a fall day in 1908. The golden yellow and russet brown leaves blew in the wind and rustled beneath my feet as I carried a bucket of cold well water back into the kitchen. I laid down the bucket, placed the long handled dipper inside and smoothed my hair in place with my hands. I always wore my hair flowing down and tied back with a simple white ribbon.  However, this morning I secured my light brown hair in a bun, hoping this grown up style would make me look older than my 16 years.

I glanced down and saw the rabbit’s foot hanging around my neck. When my little brother, Robert, gave it to me this morning, he said, “It’ll protect you from witches.”

I knew I should not believe in such things. What if James saw it? What would he think? I grabbed it and quickly tucked it inside my white blouse.

#2 OPENING

Only my parents watched me get married that Saturday afternoon in 1908.  It was a cool crisp autumn day, the leaves a golden yellow and russet brown.  They blew in the wind and rustled beneath my feet as I carried a bucket of cold well water into the kitchen. I laid down the bucket, placed the long handled dipper inside and smoothed my hair in place with my hands. I always wore my hair flowing down, tied back with a simple white ribbon.  However, this morning I secured my light brown hair in a bun, hoping this grown up style would make me look older than my 16 years. I glanced down and saw the rabbit’s foot hanging around my neck. When my little brother, Robert, gave it to me this morning, he said, “It’ll protect you from witches.” I knew I should not wear it. However, just in case, I grabbed it and quickly tucked it inside my white blouse.

Okay, is #1 or #2 your favorite? Which one grabs your interest?

Thanks and Happy Writing!